Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
