tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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