Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize