well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
is it fun? or sober?
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