I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
