i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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