Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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