When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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