please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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