wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
