her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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