and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize