hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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