its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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