what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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