He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
