You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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