Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
this just has baby written all over it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
