You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
COCAINE IS GR8
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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