end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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