how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
