You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
