His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
