You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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