i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Randomize
