im about as happy as oj after his trial
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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