obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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