That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
