but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
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vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize