You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
