I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize