I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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