I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry about my life...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
