we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
