you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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