Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
too bad you live with your parents still
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
