i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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