How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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