SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
