I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
