I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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