mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
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didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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