i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
