who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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