that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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