this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
