I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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