Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
