I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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