I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
