All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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