We're like a lot better than the average bears
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
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Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
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So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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