Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
