I look better un-naked...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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