Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
