If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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