whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
