is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
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