I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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