wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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